Thursday, January 18, 2018

Preventing PTS

Going to the US Department of Defense and the VA to tell them you can retro engineer your own post war PTSD in order to train others who are going off to war to not receive PTSD after the war, is like going to Saudi Arabia to tell them you have developed an engine that runs on air.


I had just moved into Florida from Tennessee. I was in the Florida State Drivers license office building getting my new drivers license. The agent called me to her window to process my papers. When I did, a state trooper walked up and stood next to me. I checked. I didn’t have a sign on me that says “crazy combat medic with PTSD”

While the agent was processing my papers we were all three joking around and having fun. I was trying my best to be normal. The agent asked me a few questions and then she asked me for my ethnicity. I said “causation”. She said “ No. I don’t have an option for that”. I said ”US Citizen, American, White, Disabled War Veteran. The agent said “No. I don’t have options for any of those. I will have to list your ethnicity as “Other”.

The trooper and I stopped talking. I did not raise my voice, but very firmly I said to the agent “listen, I am a member of the Sioux Nation, I am a member of the Mayflower Society, my great grandfather was an officer in the Civil War, my son is currently an officer in the US Air Force, I served in Vietnam and am 100% disabled from the war, I own property in this country and I was born in this country. You’re not going to list me as other.”

About that time a security officer and a city police officer surrounded me with the trooper and the three of them escorted me out to the parking lot. They were very nice, thanked me for my service and all three shook my hand. They suggested I try coming back tomorrow to conduct my business.

I was so triggered out I think I was seeing red. I stood dumbfounded in the parking lot for maybe an hour in the rain. I couldn’t drive. I finally drove a short distance to a restaurant so I could sit and wind down. Please just send me back to the war.

One More Orbit

decades of stress from that damn war
couldn’t escape from all that gore

decided to make this orbit my last
asked my God to please think fast

He opened some ops to help my brothers
offering me hope by mentoring others

Monday, December 11, 2017

Conscientious Objector

didn't carry a weapon in war
but all of that changed
when I hit my homeland shore

David Rose

Blood On My DD 214

served as medic in that damn war
still not sure what we fought for
did a lot to save my brothers
even saved some of the others

stopping the bleeding was my main job
a lot to lose with each heart throb
grew up fast and learned a lot
had to make the bleeding clot

still have nightmares to this day
seems I can not get away
the cries and screams I heard so loud
hang around as a big dark cloud

destined to live my life with stress
my fate was sealed when I ETS
a nasty curse I should have foreseen
when blood was spilled on my 214

bloody papers I carry through life
a reminder of my wartime strife
like giving me the boot as I walk out the door
painful memories to my very core

David Rose

PTSD Veterans Administration Cartoons

Saturday, April 29, 2017

Our Guiding Light

Let the courage 
of our fallen warriors 
be our guiding light;
as we live a joyful, 
free life, else our 
protectors death 
be in vain.


During the war,
I transformed 
into an
version of my 
former self.

Monday, April 17, 2017

PTSD Veterans Administration Cartoons

The Line Between Innocence and Immorality

The eyes of innocence are here to see
The brutal acts war brings to me

Served as medic in the war
Involved in task that I abhor

Innocence and immoral don’t mix too well
When thrown into a living hell

David Rose

Stuck on Depression

There are five steps of grief
Stuck on depression could use some relief

Through denial really fast
Long ago it’s in my past

Anger is hanging with me still
Refuse to take another pill

Don’t even know what bargaining is
Skipped it in this tricky biz

Acceptance is where I need to be
Need to get there to be free

David Rose

My Mask

Worn a mask all my life
Concealing my internal strife
Some don’t survive the war
Others come home and hide behind closed door

David Rose

Sunday, April 16, 2017

My Past Is Also My Future

Past, present and future
Are all the same for me
PTS my whole life through
No hope can I foresee 

Anxiety, vigilance and anger
Are with me every day
Living with this PTS
I guess it's here to stay

David Rose

Gook Voices

I live in the mountains by choice
It's not very often I hear a voice

Had to go into town today
Went to a show and a buffet

Trying to enjoy my meal in peace
All I could hear was Vietnamese

Picked up and moved to another table 
Hearing that language I felt unstable

I finished and left as soon as I could
Boy was I in the wrong neighborhood

Did something then I rarely do
Attended a show at the Bijou

In the lobby were video games
Shooting a machine gun and throwing flames

I know it's a game but it got my attention
Instantly became a source of tension

In the wilderness is where I belong
Not in town with the Vietcong

Fifty years I still react this way
I guess I can assume it's here to stay

David Rose

Friday, April 14, 2017

My Only Goal

Survived the war without a gun
Now back home I carry one
It's sad I have to live this way
My homeland in the U.S.A.

Today the threat is from within
This type of war is hard to win
We don't know friend from foe
I'd rather be a GI Joe

Panama looks good to me
Like many countries oversea
Well, with the exception of Seoul
A long way from home is my only goal

David Rose

Thursday, April 13, 2017

Strong But Fragile

I had a very strong mind
Now it's fragile and sidelined

Reached the top of my profession
Now seclusion is my obsession

Wrote many books just for fun
Now I rarely see anyone

Performed guitar all over the world
Now my life is coming unfurled

Made many laugh from the stage
Now my mind is in a rage

Been to heaven up in the sky
Now I am asking myself why

David Rose

I Became

Drafted from school to military service
I became a conscience objector

No weapon to carry no man would I kill
I became a combat medic

Deployed to Nam to support my brothers
I became an ER medic

Displayed some skills and moved on up
I became a surgeons first assistant

Medics are dead we need more help
I became a dust off medic

Have a special ops to do
I became a go to medic

Tour is over time to go home
I became a soul survivor

Flew back home to see my friends
I became a baby killer

Asked the VA for some help
I became an Oedipus Conflict

Placed me in a therapy group
I became a "no longer a fit"

When our troops came home from Iraq?
I became a cheerleader

David Rose

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

No Man Comes Home From War

Death and dying all around
Immoral acts the most profound 

You could be the worst of all
Or you could be the Chaps on call

Any heart can plainly see
There is some moral injury

You may survive the war that day
But intrusive thoughts are here to stay

It doesn't matter who you are
All from battle will endure a scar

David Rose

Went To War To Find Love

Warriors are trained to perform a task
Sometimes it's more than we should ask 

There's more than training that powers us
It's love for our brothers that is a big plus

Went to war to find love for their brothers
Maybe more than all the others

Providing security so his platoon could advance
Stormed enemy trench to give them a chance
Killed six snipers plus two more by hand
Sacrificed himself while his platoon made a stand
Lewis Albanese MOH

Close range small arms fire near Cam Lo
In comes a hand grenade ready to blow
Throws his body down to soften the blast
Gave his own life so his brothers will last
James Anderson MOH

During enemy attack, comrade falls in the line of fire
Leaves the safety of his hole, knowing the consequences are dire
Positions himself to protect his friend
Watches the enemy aim knowing it's the end
Oscar Austin MOH

Two men in light aircraft take hit and loose power
Parashoot damaged, can't make the tower
Pilot won't survive but the navigator can
Ditched the plane in water to save the other man
Steven Bennett MOH

Ace Dustoff commander near Chu Lai
Flew into the fog with enemy nearby
Utilized 3 helicopters to evacuate 51
It's hard to comprehend what he had just done
Patrick Bradly MOH

Prisoner of war with the Viet Cong for 3 years
Gave his food and meds to support his peers
Refusing to stray he adhered to the code
Gained respect from the enemy for the valor he showed 
Donald Cook MOH

David Rose

Sunday, April 2, 2017

No Death In Vain

Our brothers died so we can be free
Live in happiness is their plea

They want us to live with absolute joy 
It justifies their order to deploy

Living our lives in stressful pain
Wastes a soul who died in vain

I know we endure an ongoing struggle
Sometimes it's more than we can juggle

We owe it to our brothers who died
To let their courage be our guide

David Rose