Thursday, January 18, 2018

Preventing PTS

Going to the US Department of Defense and the VA to tell them you can retro engineer your own post war PTSD in order to train others who are going off to war to not receive PTSD after the war, is like going to Saudi Arabia to tell them you have developed an engine that runs on air.


I had just moved into Florida from Tennessee. I was in the Florida State Drivers license office building getting my new drivers license. The agent called me to her window to process my papers. When I did, a state trooper walked up and stood next to me. I checked. I didn’t have a sign on me that says “crazy combat medic with PTSD”

While the agent was processing my papers we were all three joking around and having fun. I was trying my best to be normal. The agent asked me a few questions and then she asked me for my ethnicity. I said “causation”. She said “ No. I don’t have an option for that”. I said ”US Citizen, American, White, Disabled War Veteran. The agent said “No. I don’t have options for any of those. I will have to list your ethnicity as “Other”.

The trooper and I stopped talking. I did not raise my voice, but very firmly I said to the agent “listen, I am a member of the Sioux Nation, I am a member of the Mayflower Society, my great grandfather was an officer in the Civil War, my son is currently an officer in the US Air Force, I served in Vietnam and am 100% disabled from the war, I own property in this country and I was born in this country. You’re not going to list me as other.”

About that time a security officer and a city police officer surrounded me with the trooper and the three of them escorted me out to the parking lot. They were very nice, thanked me for my service and all three shook my hand. They suggested I try coming back tomorrow to conduct my business.

I was so triggered out I think I was seeing red. I stood dumbfounded in the parking lot for maybe an hour in the rain. I couldn’t drive. I finally drove a short distance to a restaurant so I could sit and wind down. Please just send me back to the war.

One More Orbit

decades of stress from that damn war
couldn’t escape from all that gore

decided to make this orbit my last
asked my God to please think fast

He opened some ops to help my brothers
offering me hope by mentoring others