Thursday, March 26, 2015

My Buddy Jimmy

My buddy Jimmy was trained to kill
Today has that same mindset still

I've been the subject of his wrath
Don't want to go down that path

My job was to save lives
My mission was who survives

I even cared for both sides
Where compassion and revenge collides

Jimmy and I both have PTSD
Without many differences I can see

This disease will affect us all
No matter what trauma we recall

Every Breath I Took

I may not remember what I did yesterday
And I may not remember some words that I say

I may not remember your name
And I may not remember who won the big game

But almost fifty years after the war
I remember every wound I cared for

I remember every leaf I shook
I remember every breath I took

I guess the war impressed my young mind
There are some memories I can't leave behind

Friday, March 20, 2015

It May Have Been Purpose

I thought I had been seeking
Camaraderie for forty five years
I searched for it in churches, clubs
Organizations and careers

It may not have been
Camaraderie I am learning
But instead it may have been
Purpose I was yearning

Please Don't Ask Me Why

There are some words you shouldn't say
Like...are you OK?

Don't ask what's wrong
If you want us to get along

Don't ask why I sit here
When I drink my beer

If I don't watch the news
I could have a short fuse

If I react and lash out
Don't ask what I'm angry about

Any second I could start to cry
Please don't ask me why

Why It's Called POST

During the war I could sleep anywhere
Today, a full nights rest is rare

Fifty years ago I slept leaned up on a tree
I slept through rain, mosquitoes and artillery

I slept through the hot scorching sun
I think I even slept while on the run

I have slept at noon
And I have slept through a typhoon

But today is a different story
I have nightmares that are gory

I have insomnia with a roof over my head
Tucked into my own warm bed

I have a woman next to me who is a dear
But I still can't sleep for all of this fear

This must be why it's called POST Disorder
My reality sure is out of order